our three boys: Lucas, John and Matthew
This artwork is dedicated especially for our 3 boys who recently died, Lucas, John and Matthew. Because they are miracle puppies, their names are taken from a Bible verse. These three were fighting the virus of canine distemper and we made sure to give them everything we could for them to survive until this day.
Lucas died on Oct. 12, 2021. I still remember that day when I ran as fast as I could and tried to revive Lucas, and thought that maybe he was too tired and in pain. I was crying while continuing to do my work until I fell asleep that night. The next day, John and Matthew seemed to be doing great, and that gave us hope that they would survive until Oct. 23, morning. John's skin has started to get white and he had a hard time breathing. Ate Mhy and I knew that John and Matthew were fighting because of us. We thought that maybe they could feel that we were going to be sad when they gave up, so they kept fighting even though they couldn't anymore. Matthew's lower torso and John's whole body are already in a paralyzed state, but they keep fighting it.
Ate and I talked about how we didn't want them to suffer anymore, so we talked to them heart to heart. The next day, Oct. 24, at 2:00AM, John died. Ate Mhy said that he looked peaceful that night. That day, I said to myself "aahh..he's really holding it because of us. He's not in pain anymore. I am sad but it is for the better."
Matthew is the only one left. I take care of him the whole day since it's Sunday and hope that he will at least survive. I prayed and prayed and hope sparked again in my heart. Matthew's stools are healthy, and he's lively and eating well. I was really happy and said to myself that he would survive it.
8:20 A.M. Today, I feed him and give him medicine before I clean him and the area he was in. His other intake of medicine was antibacterial for about 15 minutes. I have to take a quick shower because my work starts at 9:00 AM. I moved all my working tools to his space so that I could take care of him while working, since I have to take care of him urgently. I was about to move him when I felt that I had touched something squishy, Matthew poop. I immediately cleaned it and when I was almost done and about to set up my work place, I saw him twitching abnormally. When I was younger, I had already seen that scene. That twitch is when a dog is trying to catch its breath and about to die. I immediately hugged him until he took his last breath. At 9:10 AM, I forgot my work. I was just sitting in the corner of the cage holding his body for about 5-10 minutes. I didn't cry. I slowly laid him down and looked at him. His eyes were still open, as if he was still waiting for someone. I told him it was fine and that I would tell Ate MHY about it so he could rest now. I gave him a peck on his face, and whispered to his ear the only word on my mind: "Thank you, Matthew." He is now asleep.
Lucas died on Oct. 12, 2021. I still remember that day when I ran as fast as I could and tried to revive Lucas, and thought that maybe he was too tired and in pain. I was crying while continuing to do my work until I fell asleep that night. The next day, John and Matthew seemed to be doing great, and that gave us hope that they would survive until Oct. 23, morning. John's skin has started to get white and he had a hard time breathing. Ate Mhy and I knew that John and Matthew were fighting because of us. We thought that maybe they could feel that we were going to be sad when they gave up, so they kept fighting even though they couldn't anymore. Matthew's lower torso and John's whole body are already in a paralyzed state, but they keep fighting it.
Ate and I talked about how we didn't want them to suffer anymore, so we talked to them heart to heart. The next day, Oct. 24, at 2:00AM, John died. Ate Mhy said that he looked peaceful that night. That day, I said to myself "aahh..he's really holding it because of us. He's not in pain anymore. I am sad but it is for the better."
Matthew is the only one left. I take care of him the whole day since it's Sunday and hope that he will at least survive. I prayed and prayed and hope sparked again in my heart. Matthew's stools are healthy, and he's lively and eating well. I was really happy and said to myself that he would survive it.
8:20 A.M. Today, I feed him and give him medicine before I clean him and the area he was in. His other intake of medicine was antibacterial for about 15 minutes. I have to take a quick shower because my work starts at 9:00 AM. I moved all my working tools to his space so that I could take care of him while working, since I have to take care of him urgently. I was about to move him when I felt that I had touched something squishy, Matthew poop. I immediately cleaned it and when I was almost done and about to set up my work place, I saw him twitching abnormally. When I was younger, I had already seen that scene. That twitch is when a dog is trying to catch its breath and about to die. I immediately hugged him until he took his last breath. At 9:10 AM, I forgot my work. I was just sitting in the corner of the cage holding his body for about 5-10 minutes. I didn't cry. I slowly laid him down and looked at him. His eyes were still open, as if he was still waiting for someone. I told him it was fine and that I would tell Ate MHY about it so he could rest now. I gave him a peck on his face, and whispered to his ear the only word on my mind: "Thank you, Matthew." He is now asleep.
PS: The color on their nose is the color I randomly assigned to their syringe so that it won't get mixed up. I can't believe this color will forever give meaning in my life. I am now grieving. I am even crying while typing and recalling this story now. All the pain in my heart comes out. I can still smell Matthew on my shoulder. I know, I need to move on and pray that they are in good hands, running free without pain. I will soon be okay and they will forever be in our hearts and memories.
Thank you, our three boys.
You guys are one of the reasons I survived my depression, so thank you. I love you.
Thank you, our three boys.
You guys are one of the reasons I survived my depression, so thank you. I love you.
